AlphaBar: Y is for Yancy's Saloon

Wednesday, May 9th - 734 Irving St. - 8PM to Midnight

What up, AlphaBoooyyyyyyeeee!

I checked out our next spot for AlphaBar this week, Yancy's.  It's pretty fucking scary.

When I showed up, it seemed like a normal enough
place from the outside.  Then I noticed they call it a saloon, which was weird as fuck.  Because this is not the wild west, and we don't live in the 1870's.  I almost went back to my car to get a gun.  And maybe a cowboy hat.  But I resisted.  Maybe the name was just for nostalgia.

When I got inside, I didn't know what the fuck to do.  It's like a goddamned jungle in there.  Hanging plants are everywhere, and they may or may not be poisonous and/or have the potential to snare you and crush you to death like in Jumanji.  Either way, my advice is stay the fuck away from the killer plants.  After you get past the initial shock of feeling like you're back in the jungle in 'Nam, with the Cong hiding somewhere in plain sight with their unreal-fucking camouflage, you notice the lamps with the stained glass, and you think, "holy shit, maybe this WAS a saloon, but it got overrun by weeds and now the fucking VC are using it as a hideout."  That creeped me right the fuck out.  Like this place is lost in time or some shit.

When I finally calmed down enough, keeping my head on a fucking swivel and looking out for Charlie, mind you, I sat down at the bar.  I ordered a cheap beer and a decent whiskey, and was about to relax, when I noticed that they have some kind of crazy security monitor system going on.  Here's the scary-insane part: they show you what's going on in the other rooms.  And that shit is CRAZY.  This one room was entirely made of ice, and there were all these huge dudes in some kind of armor running around on the ice, but they've got these crazy fucking knives on the bottom of their shoes and these wicked looking sticks and they're fucking floating above the ice, slamming into each other and trying to kill each other with sticks.  I swear to god it was like some fucking ice version of thunderdome mixed with a gladiator fight from ancient Rome.  Then there was another monitor with these huge guys passing some kind of bloated animal bladder around and jamming it into these two nets, beating the shit out of each other to get it.  And those dudes could fucking fly!  There was another one with two guys with some kind of plush handcuff thing on just going at it, trying to kill each other.  It was unreal.  I don't know who gets sentenced to those death matches, or why, but you can bet your ass I kept my head down and drank my booze.  I don't want anyone watching me get murdered by some big scary motherfuckers on knife-shoes on ice.  Fuck no.

Just when I thought shit couldn't get any weirder, I see these weird pieces of artwork on the wall, and some guys are throwing shit at them.  They were like pretty sweet mandalas, with some kind of crazy clock writing on them, but with like twenty hours and no actual clock mechanism.  So I walked over to check them out.  As soon as I get there, I put my face up near one of the mandalas or dream catchers or whatever the fuck these things are, and motherfuckers start trying to kill me with little metal throwing arrows or ninja stars or some shit.  I had to dive, then some guy starts yelling, and I just fucking ran, man.  I got the fuck up out of dodge and I did not look the fuck back.

Now maybe this was a weird night at Yancy's, but my advice is this: keep your eyes open, order the cheap drinks, don't talk to anyone, and watch the fuck out for VCs and motherfuckers throwing metal shit.  And I don't know where they had the screaming crowds and the deathmatches, but stay the fuck away from that.  Then again, if you're looking for a ninja, VC, S&M torture, death match on television, creepy as fuck type of joint, get your ass to Yancy's you weird alcoholic psycho.  Also, come there next Wednesday for AlphaBar!

AlphaBar: S is for Swank - Wednesday, February 15th @ 8PM


Hey, guess what AlphaFans. It's another Wednesday in the worst year
of my life. You know what that means. AlphaBar. Again.

But it can't be all that, bad right? Oh sure. Everything's just
fine. We'll all go to the bar and everybody will tell me how it could
be worse, and at least I'm still rich and famous and I'm a stand up
guy. Sure. But the next thing they say is always, "Boy, did you see
Eli throw that pass to Manningham? He's a real champion!" And then,
when they think I'm out of earshot, it's "do you think he's gonna
retire? Will he ever throw again? Is he past his prime"

It's not like I'm not dead, guys. Just a little injured. I mean, my
neck feels great! See look, I can shake my head and turn left and
turn... left. And my arm's still a cannon. Here, watch me throw this
beer bottle. Five bucks says I hit the kid with the beard at the end
of the bar.... Okay, well that girl looked like she had a beard.
Kind of.

Hey, look, I'm not ungrateful. Football paid for my education, it got
me on the cover of sports illustrated, it took me to the top of the
world. And I even won a super bowl and a super bowl MVP award. One
super bowl. And now Eli has two.

I'm so proud of him. He's a pretty good quarterback. I mean, he's
got a great offensive line. And Brandon Jacobs is a beast. And that
D-Line, boy, they're good. They sure gave Tom Brady what for, if you
know what I mean. I have to admit, I did like watching that handsome
jerk get hammered by Eli's teammates. But boy am I still sore. I
mean, y'know, emotionally.

I mean Eli's great and all, but could he take a terrible team from a
small market and turn it into a perennial championship contender? Did
he throw for 50,000 yards and 4,000 completions faster than anyone in
NFL history? No, but he squeaks into the playoffs at 9-7, slips by
Aaron Rodgers in his worst performance ever, gets a lucky fumble in
overtime against the 49ers and then waltzes into the Super Bowl. He
didn't have to get by Troy Polamalu, or the Ravens D, or Belichick's
blistering offense. Now he's probably gonna start doing American
Express commercials. Man, and the Tyree and Manningham catches? Are
you kidding me? And I thought Tim Tebow got lucky.

Anyway, we're going to Swank, which is a great bar. It's kind of like
a more successful, lucky younger brother. It didn't really put in the
hard work, but it's still a good bar. And I for one, am going to get
shit housed and, er, rest my neck. Well, at least I'll have a couple
beers. Maybe I'll even break out the old throwing arm.

AlphaBar: R is for Republic

The Republic - Wednesday, February 1st @ 8PM

Hail! Friends, AlphaBarians, Countrymen, lend me your beers!

Long has it been since our fair state was ruled by a senate of the best men, representing the needs of the masses. Nay, since Titus Matthew Sullivinium returned from his conquest in the North and demanded to be made consul for life, we have suffered under the rule of one man. It was a mere formality when he seized power and donned the laurel wreath, ere four long years past, and henceforth, the people of this AlphaRepublic have suffered under the autocratic rule of a despot! Caesar, indeed! Since that time, our wants and needs have been catered to only at the whim of this farce of a government. What little aid and security the government has provided has been overshadowed by the unquenchable thirst for flesh and mead Caesar's soldiers exhibit as they storm through the agora and take what they please, be it women or wine.

I beseech you, my fellow Alphacrats, let us not kowtow to this rapacious bigot who clothes himself in lambskins, but bears the teeth of the jackal. I tell you now, he is a fiend! Forget his destruction of the Beta Hordes from the South and the Upsilon Emirate from the East. His past victories were bought with the lives of our sons and brothers, but served more to line his pockets than promote peace. And now, he thinks he can buy our love with drink. Drink!

I implore you, AlphaBrothers and Sisters, do not attend this brigand's bi-weekly bacchanalia. He promises drink and music, but at what cost? Our children's bellies will not be filled by the promise of prizes and awards to be given at the end of the year. Yet, as in all things, this false Caesar thinks he can buy you off as he has bribed and flattered so many enemies into complacency. But what does he do once his enemies are sated? Murder!

My friends, the Beast has scheduled yet another of his sapphic orgies for Wednesday, February 1st. But we will not be there! No, friends, we will be attending a clandestine meeting of our own, and plotting the downfall of this consul of lies. And where else could we go, but Republic! That last bastion of sanity in a world gone mad with lust and rage.

Long have I waited for this day, my AlphaComrades. And when Caesar's blood is spilled in the gutters, the walls of our nation shall reverberate with the sacred words: Republic, Republic, Republic!

Buckshot Restaurant, Bar, and Gameroom
Wednesday, January 18th @ 8PM

***DRINK SPECIALS***
$2 PBR, Tecate, Black Star
$3 drafts
$4 well drinks

Hooo Doggy!

Howdy there AlphaPokes! Been a long time! Ol' Rusty here's been bidin' his time, but I couldn't pass up a chance to come see all my favorite cowboys and cowgirls at my favorite bar this side of Omaha! Buckshot! Boy, there's a great bar if I ever seen one. Let me tell you.

They got games, cheap beer, all the whiskey you can drink, and some kind of deep fried bacon wrapped goodness comin' out from the little 'ol kitchen in back. Last time I showed up, I saddled right on up to the bar with my horse. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" Hoooeeey! I just about jumped across the bar and slapped him. Goodness gracious! A man insulting my horse like that. Some nerve.

Anyhow, next time I showed up, they had a big "no horses" sign. If we'd a been in Omaha, I woulda stormed right in and demanded retribution. But here in San Francisco, I guess a man's gotta expect not to be allowed to bring his horse to a bar. So no horses. But like I always say, save a horse, and ride this here cowboy! Yeeeehaawww!

And horses drink free every Wednesday night. Well, not really, but good lookin' ladies certainly do! But seriously, I would love to see that danged bartender's face if you bring a big 'ol stallion inside. Just tell 'em he's a service animal.

She was a tall, cool drink of water, sitting at the end of the bar, sipping her drinks like she meant it. Whiskey. Rocks. No water. I counted four, but she had been there all night, looking like she was waiting for someone to pick her up. Not your typical broad. This girl was smart and she could handle her liquor. Twelve different chumps tried their luck. Twelve different chumps walked away, looking like their first puppy just got run over by a garbage truck. Poor bastards didn't know what hit 'em. But I was different. I was lucky number 13.

Of all the seedy little gin joints in all the seedy little towns, she had to walk into mine. Well, technically, I walked into hers. But I wasn't there to play games. And I wasn't one of those poor fools who couldn't pick up a dame if she was in a box and he had a forklift. They were about as likely to get lucky with that dame as I was to win the lottery twice on a Tuesday.

Not one to lollygag, I walked right up to her, turned to the bartender and said "two whiskeys, rocks." Then I turned to her and said, "what's a broad like you doing in a place like this?" That was when I noticed her throat. Her adam's apple was twice as big as my thumb, and s/he had the hands to match it. Sasquatch doesn't have hands that big and hairy. She/he said, "hey stranger," with a voice deeper than James Earl Jones with laryngitis after a three day bender.

Now I don't know if it was the smoke-filled room, the dingy lighting, or the eight whiskeys, but he was the best looking woman in that bar. And once you make your move, there's no going back. Thank God we were in the Castro. This was going to take some more drinks.

But I wasn't in that bar to pick up on loose women or pretty men. I was there on the job. The AlphaBar crew hired me to investigate every bar in the city with an L in its name. Well, they might have asked me only to go to the ones that started with an L, but I'm as thorough as a TSA agent on a muslim when I'm on the job. So I hit them all. And Lucky 13 was the best bar in that wretched little town. The best looking men, the strongest women, and the cheapest beer.

So we'll be heading down to Lucky 13 this Wednesday, packing that place like a Justin Bieber concert in a pedophile colony. And that friendly gentleman with the pouty lips knew the bartender, so (s)he got us some damned fine drink specials. I personally will be drinking more whiskey than a tribe of Indians who just finished a death march. Here's looking at you kid.

Wednesday, November 9th @ 8PM
Lucky 13
2140 Market St
between Church St & Sanchez St

Pics are up from the Kozy Kar!

Had a turn out of around 120+! Good work guys!

AlphaBar is now on Twitter! Follow us here!

http://twitter.com/AlphaBarSF

Alright, alright, alright, alright.

What's goin' on AlphaBabes? Man, I've been looking forward to this alllll year. I'll tell you what, man, this is gonna be the best damn AlphaBar of the year. We're goin' to my favorite bar on the grooviest street in San Francisco. Kozy Kar, Baby. It's where it's at.

If you're like me, you've probably been there every night for the past two weeks, but if you haven't, hey man, it's cool. ...I won't get on your case just because you got some other bar you like. That's your journey, man. You don't have to come to Kozy Kar. If you don't like groovy tunes, righteous babes, and some far out bartenders servin' up a couple brews, that's cool, man. You don't have to come. But it'd be a lot cooler if you did, man.

If the owner's cool with it, we can turn on some funk, break out a couple joints and light up. Just make sure we keep a bouncer outside to watch for the fuzz. And speakin of fuzz, they've got some fuzzy walls, a kickin shag waterbed if you wanna get down with one of those aforementioned groovy chicks, and a dance floor with some sweet Playboy centerfold pictures. If that chick you're boogyin with isn't quite as hip as you though, bam, take a look at the floor. It's like dancin with an angel. But she's naked. And a picture.

Anyways, man, I just wanted to let you know the deal. We've been listening to you, man. You said there wasn't enough porn in your life. Boom. You said you needed more seventies and disco-themed bars on Wednesdays. Boom. You're welcome. You said you wanted AlphaBar to be at a dirty strip club with loose rules. Hey man, two out of three ain't bad, right?

Haha, anyways man. It's gonna be a great time. Better than that rager at the moon tower last week. I promise. And you know the best thing? The girls there tend to stay in a certain age group. I keep gettin' older, they stay the same age. Catch you on the flip side.

6PM START TIME THIS WEEK!!
http://districtsf.com/

Hey Girl,

...I know I promised you a date on Wednesday night, and you know your boy AlphaBar always comes through. But this Wednesday, it's not just a date at your typical marina bar. I'm not going to crush you at beer pong and flip cup, and I won't laugh and yell "I remember my first beer!" I won't ply you with tater tots that I throw from across the bar, so you don't have to worry about another ketchup stain on your American Apparel sweatshirt. And we won't be sharing three pitchers of rolling rock and twisty cheesy garlic sticks from Xtreme Pizza before you have to help me stumble back to my place down the block. I won't be fumbling with your buttons, trying to take your top off in between loud belches and incomprehensible mutterings. My roommate won't "accidentally" walk in on us, and I promise not to vomit on your discarded skirt.

This Wednesday night, girl, I'm treating you like the queen you are. First, I shall call my driver, or maybe I'll use that cool new app, Uber, and fetch a town car using my professional Android smartphone. I will pick you up, wearing a collared shirt and pants without holes in them. Then I shall whisk you away, to a part of the city you have never seen before, except when you pick me up from a 2-1 extra-inning Giants game because I drank too much. I will order us a bottle of the finest german riesling, and I shall feed you olives and prosciutto while we get drunk off the sweet nectar of the gods. Yeah girl, lick those lips. You know you love riesling.

We will relax on velour couches while elegantly dressed waiters and bartenders cater to your every desire. What's that sound? That's a man playing a spanish guitar. Spanish, girl. That's like a guitar with an accent. It's like we're in Europe. But I'm not taking you back to a dingy back-alley hostel with a bunch of creepy dutch guys playing techno this time. Naw, girl, it ain't even like that.

Kick your shoes off, and I shall give you the finest foot massage you have ever experienced. I will open up my ziploc of massage oil and... what's that? I can't do that in here? Oh, okay, sorry. I guess I got carried away. But just wait for tonight, girl.

Don't you just love how I treat you, girl? Taking you to elegant wine bars with 120 of our closest friends and associates? I will serve you the finest cheeses from the basque country in northern spain and regale you with poetry I have crafted just for you. We can pound a couple beers just to make sure we're tipsy enough. Then it's time to get it on. In the bathroom girl, cuz I know you get nasty when you're drunk.

After I love you slowly and softly for five minutes in San Francisco's finest bathroom stall, we can get back to the party, cuz you know AlphaBar has to keep it real. It's a date, girl, but I have to say what's up to my friends.

Fancy AlphaBar this week, kids.

District Lounge and Wine Bar
216 Townsend Street @ 3rd.
San Francisco

http://chugpub.com/
http://www.yelp.com/biz/chug-pub-san-francisco
$1 a drink goes to Roots International Academy in Oakland

***Specials***
...8-10PM $25 Chug Tower of Sierra Nevada
$30 Chug Tower of any beer
$6 PBR and a shot of Jager

Alphateam,

This week, we're at chug pub, home to some of the city's beer. Not only is it home to some of the city's beer, but you can get 3.5 towering liters of your beer of choice for $30 in a veritable "Tower of Beer." Apparently they frown on patrons using their beer towers for flip cup, but if we all work together, we might be able to change their minds.

Chug Pub is located in the ancient and venerable "next to Golden Gate Park" neighborhood, home to some of the city's most famous bums, miscreants, sluts, and arsonists. Other than that, we really didn't know much about Chug Pub before choosing it, so we did what most rational people do when they want to learn about something: surf the internet.

After about three hours of alternating between midget porn and facebook, we remembered that we had a google search to perform. Chug Pub. Of course, we were distracted by The Google's suggested searches of Chupacabra, Chuck Norris Jokes, and Chug Pughuahuas, but the actual search only took about half a second. Boom. Result number one was something called Yelp.com.

After another hour of midget porn and facebook, we finally clicked on that yelp link and, wow, do the Yelpese ever come through. We learned so much.

According to Yelper Brendan L., Chug Pub is "a local hang out especially for the guys in their mid 20's..... the place is kinda small...there is a bar and behind it a few tables and pool table....i think they should get rid of the pool table because I don't know how many times i have to get out of people's way when they are playing pool." So 20-something dudes and pool.

Jeffrey J. said: "Not enough credit goes to places that make sure their tables aren't wobbly. I have to say the tables are stable! The staff is friendly and inviting, the beer selection is decent, and the cocktails are pretty good."
Stable tables! Cocktails are pretty good!
In the words of Clarence A. (possibly moonlighting as @DRUNKHULK):
TV GOOD!!
POOL TABLE GOOD!!
NACHOS GOOD!!!
CHUG TOWER GOOD!!

So there's dudes and the venue, the food, and the beverages are good. What about the ladies?

Well, Rachelle P. basically answered that one for us:
"Get some more guys to come in here though because last time I was here it was a taco fest." God damn do I love tacos. And apparently there are not enough guys there to eat the tacos that the bar serves. We're coming Rachelle P. And, assuming you are as excited as your post suggests, drunk off the specials that "get me messed up on a budget!," you will be too. No promises on delivering anything that rivals your last experience when it was "almost dangerous because I don't really realize how hot it is until it's going down my throat." But I promise you, we will try.
I know what you're thinking: I've met Rachelle P. Believe me, she is not the person you want next to you when there is a full on taco fest staring you in the face. But guess what, we can confirm that Chug Pub also caters to the more proper ladies of the Outer Sunset/Golden Rape Park Corridor.

From Jillian M.:
"It's been brought to my attention that most of my reviews make me seem like a big drunky lush whore. I wish I could say this review would buck that trend, but alas, it does not. Oh well. If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, I guess I enjoy vodka.
This place is legit. $4 vodka and club soda's, which means I can get relatively trashed for about $16.
It's also close enough to my house that I don't have to worry about navigating the bus system while intoxicated. Another big plus.
Nothing bad to say. Cute neighborhood hang out with a pool table, and sexy Asian bartenders for you boys. Enjoy."

If any of you were on the fence, get off. I don't care who you are, this is obviously the right place to spend next Wednesday night.
In the immortal words of Bill S.:
Thou might not be lovely as a summer's day,
It's true,
But there are things I cannot do to a summer's day,
That I would love to do to you.

Come to AlphaBar this week, and get something done to you.

We actually had some people believe our fictional history of the Bus Stop! If you're gonna drink here that much you better know the real story! See you Wednesday!

"The history of the Bus Stop begins over a century ago on a once quiet street in San Francisco, Union Street. The building that currently houses the bar was originally constructed in the late 1800s as a multi-use establishment, containing a street-level storefront and two upper apartments. It was purchased by the ferroni's and has since housed four generations of ferroni's who started a family business on Union Street in 1900. With a combination of hard work, dedication and a bit of luck, that business is still intact, family owned, and more successful than ever in its current sports bar format known and loved by many as, "The Bus Stop".

The evolution of the bar into the Bus Stop has been filled with many changes, challenges, and wonderful memories.

The bar opened its doors in 1900 and was know as the Aly Inn, and in 1919 became smokeys saloon where cold beer, chilled with ice that was chipped from a block, was sold for a nickel. Amerigo Ferroni purchased the family business from his uncle in 1931 in the midst of the great depression and prohibition. Times were tough but manageable until 1933. The newly elected president Franklin Delano Roosevelt followed up on a campaign promise, encouraging congress to write the 21st amendment to the constitution, ending prohibition and, thus, fueling a rise in legal drinking establishments. The Transport Club, as it was now known, flourished for nearly three decades.

In 1955, Amerigo Ferroni fell ill and his wife, Rina, actively managed the bar for the next five years. History would show she was well suited for the task.

Although a constant presence in the day-to-day operations of the business, Rina played more of a support role prior to her husband's illness, washing towels, preparing snacks and delivering her ever-popular pizza from her upstairs apartment to employees and customers alike. But when Amerigo fell ill, it was only natural for her to become the sole proprietor/bartender. Well versed in the bar's environment, Rina filled these shoes with pride. In 1960, Amerigo's son Gabriel (Gabe) continued the legacy, and began managing and tending the bar. Rina remained active in the bar and continued living in the apartment above.

In keeping with family tradition, Gabe kept the original layout of the bar. But a new name would be crucial to identifying the establishment as his own. As he sat peering out the windows on the corner of Union and Laguna streets, Gabe had many suitable names in mind until the most obvious kept returning every fifteen minutes like clockwork. The muni bus stopped three feet from the bar's front door. The "Bus Stop" was born. At a time when Union Street had yet to be developed to its current state, this was one of few Bus Stops on the street.

Having laid the foundation of the bar, Gabe could now begin to focus on the internal business features. Much to his dismay, Gabe soon realized that an entire evening of work would only gross $11.00, not nearly enough to sustain the business. However, in order to attract more customers he realized that the Bus Stop would have to differentiate itself from other bars in the neighborhood. He would keep the charm of the old saloon and enhance it. The decor would have glimpses of the past but be modernized. Over the years Gabe initiated many ideas to create his ideal. The logo would be created with the gas lamp chandeliers to capture the past and stake claim on the future. Napkins, ashtrays, and matchbooks would be personalized with the company logo to add a touch of class as well as provide an excellent marketing tool. The "super well" would offer premium cocktails at well drinks prices. Glassware was chosen to offer the customer better value. Juices would be fresh squeezed on the premises on a daily basis. Complimentary snacks would be offered. Benches and awnings would be built out front for the comfort of customers and neighbors alike. Polished brass would fill the bar. The restrooms maintained a standard of cleanliness unlike those of other local bars.

Over the years business grew and continued to flourish through the 1980's when the sports bar craze really began to escalate. Satellite and cable tv technology was providing the opportunity for businesses to offer customers several viewing options from the same bar stool. The Bus Stop was one of the first bars in San Francisco to really embrace this concept. The Bus Stop soon became one of the premiere sports bars in the bay area, where bartenders knew your name and service was unmatched.

After 40 years, Gabe decided that it was time for his namesake to carry on the legacy that he had started. His son, Gabriel Ferroni, Jr., was charged with the responsibility of running the family business. Gabriel had spent several years managing the Bus Stop after experimenting with different ventures, including a successful business in gourmet foods. He purchased the Bus Stop from his father in 2000, after his father's health concerns became overwhelming. Unfortunately, Gabe Sr. passed without the pleasure of watching the Bus Stop move into the new millennium. Learning from the lessons his father bestowed, Gabriel has kept the Bus Stop tradition alive and well.

The Bus Stop continues to be involved in the community and participates in local programs and activities including the police activities league, local recreational sports teams, and the Union Street Association. You will still find top-notch service, great value, and a wonderful environment. Twenty new plasma tv's adorn the walls to ensure your viewing pleasure and each has a separate satellite receiver so you'll never miss a minute of your favorite team. A top of the line audio system and great music selection turns this sports bar into a nightclub the moment the buzzer goes off and the evening hours prevail.

Over the years the Bus Stop has evolved out of a family of dedicated, hard working people who have brought this business through a century of change. In that time we witnessed two world wars, the korean war, and vietnam. We survived the earthquakes of 1906 and 1989 unscathed. We weathered economic difficulties, none more challenging than the great depression. We endured 25 presidential elections, the murder of our mayor, the start of prohibition and its reversal. We've embraced five superbowl victories and dealt with several disappointing trips to the world series. We've watched music progress from the big band era to the mtv generation. We've welcomed famous faces such as President Clinton, Mayor Willie Brown, Vida Blue, Monica Seles, Ted Hendricks, Chipper Jones, Bobby Sura, Barry Zeto, and Pierce Brosnan."

B is for Bus Stop!

Hey Kids,

We fired that Italian guy who did the write up for Amante. I mean, really, who writes with an accent? Also, no one trusts foreigners.

This week, our partner bar has agreed to donate one dollar of every drink to Roots International Academy, a junior high school in Oakland, to fund after school programs and field trips. If you had any thoughts of skipping out, this is not the week to do it. How often do you get to "d...rink for the kids" anyway? Staying for another drink is actually the responsible thing to do. And with budget cuts in place, the kids don't get to play music or sports unless you show up and drink more. Think about it.

http://www.oaklandschoolsfoundation.org/roots

And hey, new pick up line: "Hi, I don't usually buy girls drinks, but since it's for underprivileged children in Oakland, I feel that it would be socially irresponsible of me not to." Boom. I got her numba. How do you like dem apples?

Location, location, location. This week we'll be back on campus, at ye old The Bus Stop. You know it well, but do you know the full history of the Bus Stop? I didn't think so. Read on for more, details at the bottom.

Originally established in 1857 as The Busty Top, the first owners of what is now known as The Bus Stop sought to capitalize on the wealth of horny sailors, miners, loggers, kickballers, thieves, and other lowbrow miscreants who had come to California looking for gold, but hungry for women. As the northern-most outpost of the Barbary Coast, and thus often the first stop for miners and loggers coming down from Marin, Sonoma, and beyond, the Busty Top quickly gained a devoted following as the "cheapest little whorehouse in town." It wasn't long before even the saltiest of the Top's "ladies of the evening" were known worldwide. Amongst the more famous employees in the Top's heyday were Liverpool 'Lil, Henrietta Fillmore, Marina "Fingers" Chestnut, Octavia Buchanan, "Shanghai" Kelly O'Toole, and, of course, the venerable Mollie Stone. The Top even employed the first well-known gay "man of the evening," Philip "Phil the Drill" Castro. Unlike most establishments of the time, the Top's prostitutes were not exploited and tossed out on the street once they reached the wrinkled old age of 34 (34 was old back then, and very wrinkly). Rather, the Top provided a generous pension plan, usually promoted from within, and even provided seed start-up money if its employees decided to open up their own shop. As the owners said, "we encourage our girls to spread their legs, yes, but then we help them spread their wings." Some have referred to the Top's owners, Bill Kleiner and Adrian Perkins, as the first venture capitalists in California. Some of the Top's more successful employees went on to found eateries, grocery stores, and rival businesses, while others moved into politics and philanthropy, or died of venereal diseases.

On January 18, 1920, the San Francisco Chronicle's headlines read "Busty Top Busted." Prohibition had finally hit, and the city's most famous little whorehouse was shut down. The owners were jailed and the remaining employees scattered. But new owners soon took over, supposedly to provide coffee and other non-alcoholic refreshments, giving a wink and a nod to the Chronicle headline in renaming the place "The Busted Top." Within days of opening, however, the Top became one of the more popular speakeasies in town. When officers stopped by (those who weren't on the payroll), the alcohol was hidden behind fold-away walls, and the patrons would simply state that they were having some water, coffee, or soda pop while waiting for the bus. It wasn't long before the "Busted Top" was referred to as "The Bus Stop." "Waiting for the bus" became code for having a drink, and "riding the bus" code for sex. A "free ride" was sex with another patron or a generous whore, while a "nickel," "dime," or "quarter ride" referred to sex with a cheap, standard, or expensive whore. Other terms, such as an "oil change," "greasing the axles," "stuffing the tailpipe," or "looking under the hood" were quickly adopted into the lexicon. Soon, one could "wait for the bus" at any of over 5,000 establishments in San Francisco alone.

But the end of prohibition signaled a dark day for the Bus Stop. Swingers were replaced by suffragettes, men left town in droves to work on New Deal construction projects, and the fear of impending war soon gripped the city. It seemed the Bus Stop, and "waiting for the bus" alike were doomed to fade into San Francisco's history.

Flash forward to the heady, cocaine-fueled days of the 1980s. Reagan was king, money was everywhere, gas was cheap again, neon was a fashion statement, and hair was almost as big as cocaine and David Bowie. What a time to be alive! The Busted Top was re-opened as the Bus Stop, touting expensive drinks, a shoulder-pads only dress code, and great bathrooms to do coke in. The revamped Bus Stop is still alive today, though shoulder pads have been set aside for 80's nights and the drinks are now cheap (thanks inflation!).

So when it's getting late into the night this coming AlphaBar, just take a minute to look around and savor the history at the Bus Stop. Maybe pour yourself a traditional prohibition-era PBR, rock some neon or a side pony-tail, mine the bar for gold, try to get a "free ride" or an "oil change," or pretend you're a cheap prostitute with a heart of gold. And as always, kids, its AlphaBar, so keep it classy. But not too classy.

Deets:

Alpha Bar at the Bus Stop
1901 Union Street at Laguna
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
8 pm to closing

AlphaBar: A is for Amante

Pics are up from our first bar of season 4!!

https://picasaweb.google.com/matthew.r.sullivan/AlphaBarAIsForAmante2011

Hello, my fellow Alphabarbarians! No Alphabar season would be complete without a stop at the Fishbowl in Lower Pac Heights! They're tossing all the tables and chairs out the door to make room for us so let's pack this place out! And remember to bring your AlphaBar cards because the season is almost over and there's prizes to be earned at the end!

-Sully

***DRINK SPECIALS***
TBA

Bar Reviews:
http://www.sfweekly.com/locations/the-fishbowl-bar-and-grill-1598058
http://www.blackbookmag.com/guides/details/fish-bowl-bar-grill

47th Avenue and Taraval? Are we crazy? Hell yeah we are! We're going to the Riptide in the Outer Sunset! "Wet Wednesdays" at Riptide involve surf movies on the TV and free chili cheese nachos! See you on Wednesday!!

***DRINK SPECIALS***
$1 off Sierra Nevada pints
$4 cocktail special TBD
...
***PUBLIC TRANSIT***
If you're in the Marina you can take the 22 bus south and then head west on the L line. It takes 49 minutes...don't like it? Carpool!

My fellow AlphaBarians, we're headed to Polk Street again and hitting up Mayes Oyster House! It's also Taj Welsh's birthday! Taj is an AlphaBar officer and is also the one who designed the AlphaBar cards so please stand at attention and salute her when she walks by or she'll revoke your card. And yes the rumors are true--we are indeed doing this one live again so please wear your party pants.

-Sully

***DRINK SPECIALS***
$3 Draft Beers
$3 Bottled Beers
$4 Well Cocktails

More drink and food specials will be posted soon!

http://www.mayessf.com/

Alpha Bar pics are up!

AlphaBar: L is for La Barca

Alright you yuppies...we're swinging back through Marina so get your ass to Alphabar Wednesday, July 14th!

***DRINK SPECIALS***
$3 draft beers and $5 house margaritas!!

Facebook Event

AlphaBar: K is for Kennedy's Irish Pub and Curry House

An Irish Pub and Indian food?! Why the hell not?! It works! This place has pool tables, foosball, a patio, and tall boy PBRs. They have over a hundred beers and I'm going to drink them all. Come help me.

-Sully

This very Wednesday we're back on schedule and headed to Hyde-Out on California and Hyde! This place has a cool upstairs section, free popcorn, and 30 beers on tap including PBR!! HOLY SHIT!

-Sully