Thursday, January 26, 2012

AlphaBar: R is for Republic


The Republic - Wednesday, February 1st @ 8PM

Hail! Friends, AlphaBarians, Countrymen, lend me your beers!

Long has it been since our fair state was ruled by a senate of the best men, representing the needs of the masses. Nay, since Titus Matthew Sullivinium returned from his conquest in the North and demanded to be made consul for life, we have suffered under the rule of one man. It was a mere formality when he seized power and donned the laurel wreath, ere four long years past, and henceforth, the people of this AlphaRepublic have suffered under the autocratic rule of a despot! Caesar, indeed! Since that time, our wants and needs have been catered to only at the whim of this farce of a government. What little aid and security the government has provided has been overshadowed by the unquenchable thirst for flesh and mead Caesar's soldiers exhibit as they storm through the agora and take what they please, be it women or wine.

I beseech you, my fellow Alphacrats, let us not kowtow to this rapacious bigot who clothes himself in lambskins, but bears the teeth of the jackal. I tell you now, he is a fiend! Forget his destruction of the Beta Hordes from the South and the Upsilon Emirate from the East. His past victories were bought with the lives of our sons and brothers, but served more to line his pockets than promote peace. And now, he thinks he can buy our love with drink. Drink!

I implore you, AlphaBrothers and Sisters, do not attend this brigand's bi-weekly bacchanalia. He promises drink and music, but at what cost? Our children's bellies will not be filled by the promise of prizes and awards to be given at the end of the year. Yet, as in all things, this false Caesar thinks he can buy you off as he has bribed and flattered so many enemies into complacency. But what does he do once his enemies are sated? Murder!

My friends, the Beast has scheduled yet another of his sapphic orgies for Wednesday, February 1st. But we will not be there! No, friends, we will be attending a clandestine meeting of our own, and plotting the downfall of this consul of lies. And where else could we go, but Republic! That last bastion of sanity in a world gone mad with lust and rage.

Long have I waited for this day, my AlphaComrades. And when Caesar's blood is spilled in the gutters, the walls of our nation shall reverberate with the sacred words: Republic, Republic, Republic!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Buckshot Restaurant, Bar, and Gameroom
Wednesday, January 18th @ 8PM

***DRINK SPECIALS***
$2 PBR, Tecate, Black Star
$3 drafts
$4 well drinks

Hooo Doggy!

Howdy there AlphaPokes! Been a long time! Ol' Rusty here's been bidin' his time, but I couldn't pass up a chance to come see all my favorite cowboys and cowgirls at my favorite bar this side of Omaha! Buckshot! Boy, there's a great bar if I ever seen one. Let me tell you.

They got games, cheap beer, all the whiskey you can drink, and some kind of deep fried bacon wrapped goodness comin' out from the little 'ol kitchen in back. Last time I showed up, I saddled right on up to the bar with my horse. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" Hoooeeey! I just about jumped across the bar and slapped him. Goodness gracious! A man insulting my horse like that. Some nerve.

Anyhow, next time I showed up, they had a big "no horses" sign. If we'd a been in Omaha, I woulda stormed right in and demanded retribution. But here in San Francisco, I guess a man's gotta expect not to be allowed to bring his horse to a bar. So no horses. But like I always say, save a horse, and ride this here cowboy! Yeeeehaawww!

And horses drink free every Wednesday night. Well, not really, but good lookin' ladies certainly do! But seriously, I would love to see that danged bartender's face if you bring a big 'ol stallion inside. Just tell 'em he's a service animal.