6PM START TIME THIS WEEK!!
http://districtsf.com/
Hey Girl,
...I know I promised you a date on Wednesday night, and you know your boy AlphaBar always comes through. But this Wednesday, it's not just a date at your typical marina bar. I'm not going to crush you at beer pong and flip cup, and I won't laugh and yell "I remember my first beer!" I won't ply you with tater tots that I throw from across the bar, so you don't have to worry about another ketchup stain on your American Apparel sweatshirt. And we won't be sharing three pitchers of rolling rock and twisty cheesy garlic sticks from Xtreme Pizza before you have to help me stumble back to my place down the block. I won't be fumbling with your buttons, trying to take your top off in between loud belches and incomprehensible mutterings. My roommate won't "accidentally" walk in on us, and I promise not to vomit on your discarded skirt.
This Wednesday night, girl, I'm treating you like the queen you are. First, I shall call my driver, or maybe I'll use that cool new app, Uber, and fetch a town car using my professional Android smartphone. I will pick you up, wearing a collared shirt and pants without holes in them. Then I shall whisk you away, to a part of the city you have never seen before, except when you pick me up from a 2-1 extra-inning Giants game because I drank too much. I will order us a bottle of the finest german riesling, and I shall feed you olives and prosciutto while we get drunk off the sweet nectar of the gods. Yeah girl, lick those lips. You know you love riesling.
We will relax on velour couches while elegantly dressed waiters and bartenders cater to your every desire. What's that sound? That's a man playing a spanish guitar. Spanish, girl. That's like a guitar with an accent. It's like we're in Europe. But I'm not taking you back to a dingy back-alley hostel with a bunch of creepy dutch guys playing techno this time. Naw, girl, it ain't even like that.
Kick your shoes off, and I shall give you the finest foot massage you have ever experienced. I will open up my ziploc of massage oil and... what's that? I can't do that in here? Oh, okay, sorry. I guess I got carried away. But just wait for tonight, girl.
Don't you just love how I treat you, girl? Taking you to elegant wine bars with 120 of our closest friends and associates? I will serve you the finest cheeses from the basque country in northern spain and regale you with poetry I have crafted just for you. We can pound a couple beers just to make sure we're tipsy enough. Then it's time to get it on. In the bathroom girl, cuz I know you get nasty when you're drunk.
After I love you slowly and softly for five minutes in San Francisco's finest bathroom stall, we can get back to the party, cuz you know AlphaBar has to keep it real. It's a date, girl, but I have to say what's up to my friends.
Fancy AlphaBar this week, kids.
District Lounge and Wine Bar
216 Townsend Street @ 3rd.
San Francisco
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